I broke down and bought me a new hay baler,, New Holland 450,, it’s a 4x5 round baler,, They brought it out Wednesday,, so I cut a few acres of Jigg on Monday,, to get the feel of it,, and,, Let them get the bugs worked out before hay season starts in April.. it has net and string wrap,, plus I saved a few thousand dollars buying out of season.. I’m trying to help the economy get back on track,, as long as I don’t have to pay full retail. Anyway we put it though their test procedures.. couple of tweets and it was good to go.. Now I will store it in the barn till April.. Lou
No more picking up square bales,, unless someone wants them,, then they can pick them up,, my cows will be eaten and enjoying a nice round meal.. Lou
This story is about when I was young,, back in 1951 or 52 or 53 but not 1953 because I was going on seven by then and I already knew everything there was to know.. If you don’t believe me ask any seven year old today..
But back to 1950something.. Most of the people that have read my stories know that I went to church five times a week.. Wednesday night, Friday night, Saturday night, Sunday morning and Sunday night.. This was normal for the times because no one I knew had a television, got a newspaper or listened to the radio much. So the way we kept up with what was going on in our part of the woods was at church..
The story of the fat Lady:
There was this girl that went to Sunday morning services every Sunday,, She was a lot older than me but she was the prettiest girl that I had seen up to that point.. She was maybe seventeen or eighteen not sure.. But I would set across the aisle from her so I could look at her while she was singing or just setting.. She had long blonde hair that was curled at the end with big blue eyes and dark red lips with solid pale skin and a nice lean body.. I would dream she knew my name and would say “Hi Louis, how are you today?”.. That never happened but one Sunday she did speak to me..
It was a normal Sunday morning when we got to the church. Everybody was standing at the front entrance greeting each other. I walked by them and headed to the left side because Mary, the girl with the blonde hair, always sat on the right side,, third row back.. When Sunday services started I looked over to the right to get a glance of Mary.. But there was no Mary.. Where was Mary? She always came to Sunday morning service.. Something was wrong.. I could feel it.. I had heard someone say that some of the brothers and sisters were down with the whooping cough.. Maybe that’s what it was?..
After service I asked my Uncle,, who was the preacher at the Church and was blind from birth,, that some of the people were not here today and I wondered where they were,, He said “who are you talking about Lou?” I said “well Mary wasn’t here this morning,,” He said “she has moved to California,,” My heart dropped, why would she move to California? Not that I knew where California was,, but I knew it was west of here but not how far maybe a hundred miles or more.. I said “why did she move there?” My Uncle said “she thinks she can become a movie star,,” I didn’t know what that was,, we didn’t have electricity and I’ve never been to a movie.. I thought he was talking about moving stars around in the sky from California,, I just didn’t know you could do that.. But there was a lot I didn’t know..
A few months had passed,, six,, not that I was counting,, when I came to church one Sunday morning and there was Mary standing at the entrance of the church.. She didn’t say much just went inside,, I noticed she had gotten fat over the last few months,, I headed in to the church so I could set across from her,, When I heard Sister Margaret,, now Sister Margret was a very smart lady,, cause I heard my Aunt Bee tell my mother that Sister Margaret knew more about everybody’s business than they knew about it.. My mother shook her head in agreement. Anyway Sister Margaret started telling Sister Douglas when she noticed I was standing behind them listening,, that Sister Mary didn’t have to go to California to pick her nose she could have stayed here and done that. It was disgusting..
That’s when it hit me why Sister Mary had got so fat,, I knew it had to be from something,, Because my mother and grandmother would tell me to stop picking your nose.. It’s disgusting, but I didn’t know that disgusting caused you to get fat.. But it must,, because Sister Margaret had said so..
Mary was setting by herself and I wanted her to know that it was alright what she had done.. So I walked over, looked at her large stomach and smiled then said.. “I know what you been doing,,” She looked at me and started to cry,, She got up and walked over where my mother was and said something,, My mother wheeled around on one foot and came in my direction,, I wondered why?.. She grabbed me by the arm and headed to the truck..
When we got to the truck Mr. Douglas and grandfather were standing on different sides of the truck at the tailgate,, My dad was standing between them and they were talking.. My mother came up and told my dad you need to talk with this boy about how he talks to ladies.. Then she stepped between me and my dad and said something that I didn’t hear.. My dad started pulling his belt off, I knew I was in trouble, but didn’t know why..
My mother turned and walked away with her bible under her arm.. My dad looked at me and said “come over here boy,,” Which I did,, He said what did you say to Sister Mary? I said,, “I told her I knew what she had been doing,,” My dad said,, “you told her that?” I said,, “yes sir,,” He said,,” what do you think she has been doing?” I said,, “picking her nose in California,,” He said “where did you get that idea..” I said “I heard sister Margaret tell sister Douglas that she could have stayed here and picked her noise and got fat..”
At that very moment Mr. Douglas and my grandfather came down with the whooping cough,, cause both of them turned, bent over and starting coughing.. My dad turned around and was looking at the trees across the road,, I knew he felt bad for Sister Mary cause he was crying.. just like he did when my other grandfather died,, when he turned back around he was wiping his eyes,, He was still holding his belt in his right hand then he said “give me your hand,,” then he started swinging,, but the belt didn’t hit me,, it was hitting his leg. After a couple of swings, he told me to go to the other side of the truck and if anyone came by just hang my head like I was praying and not say anything about this.. Which I did,, until now..
There was a lot of laughter at the church that morning and later that night but I wasn’t part of it.. The nice thing about it was Sister Mary came by one Sunday and said,, “Louis you are special,,”
Anyway the next Sunday I heard Sister Margaret tell my mother that Sister Mary must have been picking her nose before she moved,, because the numbers just didn’t add up.. At that time I didn’t know what they were talking about,, I just kept my mouth shut and listened..
Mary got married that same week to some guy down the road from the church and within a month they had a baby.. They name her Louise almost like my name.. A year later they had another one and far as I know they are still having babies.
There is one thing,, I did learn from all of this,, is when I see a fat lady picking her nose I look the other way and keep on walking.. Lou
Well today I made some of my pasta sauce,, it calls for a cup of fine red wine,, that my wife of many years,, got for me at the local store,, Wal mart I think,, the sauce is bottled and so is Lou,, couldn’t let the fine red wine go to waste,, could I?.. Lou
Some people have been asking me what I have been up too lately..
not a lot but some,, I’ve been spraying my weed patch as I like to call it,, we had a bad drought last year and the good grass died,, but the native grasses flowered and grew and grew,,
So I decided this year I will become the herbicide broadleaf fighter,, mostly,, I was after the McCartney rose bush that has taken over my land,, this is an import from England (1830’s) that was used on and for fencing,, it will grow to ten or higher feet,, big thorns that no living thing could pass thru and tell about it.. If it stayed on the fence line I could live with that but it like the pasture and it is taken over.. I have lost maybe 50% grazing land from this bush in the last year.. Can’t blame George for this one,, Jr. or Sr..
So anyway I have been using an 25 gallon pull behind tank with a spray wand that will reach up to 25 feet away,, electric,, This way I can spray what I want to spray without killing a lot of good grasses,, everything has been going along fine till Monday of this week,, when I mixing up my fifth patch,, a tank a day,, when I noticed I had ran out of surfactant,, now surfactant is like a soap,, you mix it with the weed killer,, or herbicide,, and it helps the weed killer to stick to the leafs of the intended plant,, given it a better chance of doing it jobs.. But I was out of surfactant,, oh lordly what now? Go to the store and get some more?,, long drive,, or just spray,, but the weed killer may be wasted,, it’s not cheap,, So think Lou,, I was talking to myself,, you can do that when no one is around for miles,, so I sat down to have a beer and think,, When I noticed the tack room,, that’s where I keep stuff for the creatures of the ranch or farm,, Went inside and the first thing I saw was a full bottle of dog shampoo,, Awesome,, that was the name of it,, Awesome dog shampoo,, it was nice and thick,, the bubble had a hard time moving when I turned it upside down..
Just what I needed.. Awesome,, I read the instruction and it didn’t say I couldn’t use it as a surfactant,, so I took it that I could,, I poured about half of it (16oz) into my 25 gallon tank that was mixed with water and herbicide weed killer,, Hindsight now,, says a little too much,, I turned on the mixer which circulates the liquids,, Did you ever over fill a washing machine with too much detergent? The lid to the tank has a hole in it so when you use the liquid the air can get in,, so you don’t get a vacuum which causes problem itself..
As I head to the pasture in my John Deere Gator and pulling my tank of week killer with its rooster tail of bulbs shooting out the vent hole.. I was glad I was along,, no one around to see this sight,, I am consider a nice guy and all round rancher,, this could throw a shadow on my standing in the local straight lace ranching communities,, I made it to the back pasture and turned off the recirculation valve which turned off the flow of bubbles and a picture in my mind of Lawrence Welk and Lennon Sisters.. Open the spray wand valve.. I was ready to go,,
I was spraying some of the larger rose bushes and notice a nice shine to the leaves,, hey this stuff is working and it’s got to be cheaper than the good stuff,, So I took my time and spray about half mile of fence line before running out.. As headed back to the barn for a refill and cold beer,, it started to cloud up.. Damn just my luck,, no rain for a month now it’s going to rain,, not good when you’re spraying a herbicide. I made it back to the barn before the rain started and it did start and start and kept on starting till it was too late to spray anymore.. so I call it a day,,
On Tuesday I went out to check on the bushes I sprayed on Monday,, Again I will ask have you ever over filled a washing machine?,, there was still suds 24 hours later out in the pasture along the fence line,, I imagine it was pretty sight with the lightening flashing and the rain coming down and the shampoo rising,, not sure that the weed killer with do it’s intended job but there is one thing I feel I know for sure,, that I have cleanest McCartney rose bushes in county plus they are flea free.. Lou